I have been running a discussion forum for P31 women at Ning but recent Ning annoucements have made me think about the direction of this group. With close to 200 members there is obviously an interest in this topic and a need for women to reach out to each other, however the style of forum meant members had to log in to find out what was happening and they weren’t receiving email notifications of updates or new members unless they subscribed to those threads.

I sent a message to members asking if they wanted the forum to continue or shall I just let it die and many emailed me saying if it were in email format they would participate and don’t want to see it go.

So I’ve now set the forum up at yahoogroups – the link is in the menu on the right of this blog or you can click on the link above.  Our intention is simply to connect with one another, share on our challenges and ask for prayer when needed, praise God for the good things in our lives, lean on each other, cry and laugh together and generally share the things that women love to share.

It is still a closed forum in that you need to be approved as a member to join and discussion are for members only.  We would love to see you there!

Do you remember my devotional about Roger?

http://proverbs31-woman.com/2008/12/10/you-bless-him/

Today I went back to our old house to do a final inspection after the cleaners had gone through to make sure all was in order before handing the keys over to the selling agent for the new owner.

After that I popped into the local shopping centre to buy some new summery frocks. I live in jeans but now I’m in the country I have this urge to once again wear long flowing loose summer frocks.

While wandering around the centre I saw a familiar man stooped over and walking.  It was Roger. I’d never seen him at the shopping centre before – it’s very large with lots of department stores and specialty shops. I’ve only ever seen him at the small shopping strip close to our old home.

I thought about whether to go say hi and turned around and noticed he’d stopped and he was holding his forehead in his hand.  This is a normal pose for him. I think he gets tired walking around but does lots of it.  So I went up to him and stood in front so he could see me (he’s partially deaf) and said ‘hello Roger’.  His whole face lit up when he recognised me.  He said hi and I explained we’d shifted and told him where. He said to me we were very lucky.  Sounds like he knows the area.  I asked him how was his Christmas and his face dropped, he said not special. I asked him if he saw his sisters and he said yes.  I asked him how his church was and his face lit up again and he said it was good.  He asked my name – he’d never known it and shook my hand.  I wished him the best and moved off again but not before saying I thought of him often.  He’ll never know I’ve written about him and that my story might have prompted others to look for people like him to bless.

I hope I’ve blessed his day.  I prayed for him as I went on my way.

This year has been very different to the past years of our lives.  We’ve gone through tremendous upheaval and change which began almost 12 months ago when we lost our darling Miriam.

If anyone had told us at the beginning of September last year that nearly every member of our immediate family would be moving house this year and that we would be missing a member of our family too, we just would not have believed them.

It’s been a long slow year – one where I’ve been anxious to get back to some sort of normality and yet when opportunities arise, particularly through my business, I am slow to respond or take things up.

I’ve been very reluctant to go out in the evenings so have missed a year’s worth of business networking events and church events. I haven’t wanted to leave Graham alone and I haven’t really felt like being with groups of people.  Neither has he for that matter.

The book I was going to write has been put on hold but I am a contributing author for an anthology of poems and short stories about babies and impending motherhood called “Even Before You Were Born“.  The poem I wrote back in the 1980s.

I’d been planning a number of things for my business and team this year – at least I was going to plan them, but the year is almost over and I haven’t moved forward with them.  I wrote things down and thought about them but they progressed no further.

I did set business and personal goals in January this year, as I do each year, and I have achieved 5 out of 11 things which isn’t too bad (45%) – but I usually achieve 85-90% of my goals.

It recently hit me that I’m entitled to ‘time out’ – time to reflect, time to heal, time to just vegetate if I need and want to.

Why do we (and particularly women I mean) feel guilty if we just take time out?

When we look at the Proverbs 31 woman in Chapter 31 of Proverbs she seems to be constantly on the go, always doing, never letting her lamp go out.    But if we look more closely at these verses there are hints that because of her previous hard work, profitable trading, her planning and preparation, she has no fear for her household (v21) and she can laugh at the days to come (v25).

Perhaps I am allowed to take time out after all and not feel guilty about it, simply because of all I have done in the past.  I need to allow myself time to renew, refresh, heal, rest, and gain new enthusiasm for life and all it promises in the days to come.

I manage a forum for women interested in being Proverbs 31 women and I had shared with them there about the loss of our daughter some months ago.  One of the women had commented she didn’t know how she’d cope with something like that.

My response to her astounded me even – it was like God was speaking to us through my fingers.  I hope what I share below will help you too.

It hasn’t been easy by any means and we’re only 9 months down the track.  Two weeks ago (almost) my cousin lost his son in a car accident.  My cousin is not a Christian and now I feel that it’s my role and responsibility to reach out to him and his wife. I hadn’t seen a lot of them over the past 2 or 3 years so I’ll be making up for it now and keeping in constant touch. The funeral was Tuesday just gone so it’s very early days for them yet.

I find often that our healing takes place when we are helping others, our growth takes place through our own personal hardships. So one needs to follow the other so we have this balance of growth and healing.

Now, I hadn’t even thought about that till I typed it just now.

The Proverbs 31 woman was a wife, mother and business woman. It’s important to remember those three aspects – all knitted into one.

Today women struggle to manage all their various roles and the many hats they wear, daughter, sister, auntie, wife, mother, friend, lover, worker, nurse, house duties and so on. Just where do we become ‘me’?

I believe as we grow older we begin to learn more about ourselves but in our younger adult years while coping with a family and work, and being a good wife we can often feel lost from who we really are.

Don’t despair, others have been there before you and it will become more ordered as your life moves on. Content yourself in God’s word and the instructions of King Lemuel’s mother about the Proverbs 31 Woman.

If your family loves you, if your husband knows you care for the home and provide for your family in ways only you can do, if you love the Lord your God and seek His assurance, then you will eventually see who you are and where you have been. You might even get an inkling of where you are going with your life. I know I have.  And when I was first told about the Proverbs 31 Woman many years ago by a wonderful woman pastor at the church I attended I had no idea what God had in store for me in days ahead.

Now I look towards the Titus 2 woman and can see I’m heading in her direction and I know that many of you will be too. And for those of you who are young, perhaps you’ll find a Titus 2 woman in your life to help guide you.

Proverbs 31:20
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

There’s a man I see shuffling along in the local shopping strip almost every day. He walks with head bowed and usually has a bunch of books and a bible under his arm.  He rarely looks up at anyone.

Many months ago I felt God leading me to pray for this man and so every time I drove past or walked past I did just that, asking God to bless him.

One day I saw him in a full suit on a very hot summer’s day, sitting on the pavement with his back to the fence of the house he was outside of, and he was reading. I got out of the car to see if he was ok and noticed for the first time his bible and struck up a conversation. I found out his name is Roger (I’d nicknamed him Mr Klump as that is how he walks) and that he went to a local church. He lived not far by but was happy where he was reading and writing and thanked me for my concern.

Over the months I’ve made sure I say hello to him and I see his face light up and he smiles, showing his blackened misshapen teeth.  I feel sorry for him as I’m sure he is lonely and I’ve never seen anyone else with him or talking to him.

Sometimes I just pass him by as he’s hard of hearing and if he doesn’t hear me the second or third time I call out I feel a bit silly as I know others are walking in the street also and can hear me clearly.

Today I walked past him as he sat on a park bench in the new plaza strip between the shops and asked God to bless him.  I continued to walk and began to feel convicted. I turned around but he’d not noticed me and so I continued to walk and pray for him.  Again I asked God to bless him and then I got the response ‘you bless him’.  I kept walking and began to feel guilty. I turned around and Roger still had his head down writing.

So I turned back and walked up to him as he got up to move away and felt I better hurry or I’ll miss my chance.  But he was only moving to a seat in the sun to get more warmth and then sat back down again. He looked up as he heard my voice (I made sure I spoke louder than normal) and he smiled when he saw me and settled back in his seat.

We had a short conversation and I asked how he was, and how were things at church. And then it occurred to me Christmas is not far away and I wonder if he’s going to be alone this year?

I’m not really in the mood for more company this Christmas – we usually invite loners to join us each year but this will be the first year without our beloved daughter Miriam and I don’t know how the family is going to be on that day.  Will I need to ask him to join us at a time when we will be in sorrow?

But I still asked him if he had someone to spend Christmas with and he didn’t hear properly so I asked again, louder this time, wondering what on earth I was doing.

He looked up at me and said he was planning to see his sisters.  I said ‘that’s good’.  Then he thanked me for asking and I told him he was welcome and said goodbye.

I walked away and then suddenly realised he’d thanked me for asking, for taking an interest.  How many do that? Thank you for taking an interest in their lives?  I couldn’t help wonder just how many people take an interest in Roger and continued to pray for him as I moved away towards my car again.

Do you have a Roger in your life and is he waiting for someone to take an interest?

Opening our arms and extending our hands to the needy should also mean turning our hearts and minds to these people, the lonely because they truly are needy – of company, of friendship and of love.  Make sure you extend yourself this Christmas.

Hi everyone, thank you for visiting this blog.  I’m so sorry I haven’t updated here for awhile. Some of you who read my other blogs will know what’s been happening in my life but for those of you don’t, we sadly lost a daughter at the end of September and life has been very hard.  I know that God is with us but it’s so hard to remain joyful and thankful when inside you are hurting and asking lots of questions as to why?  Maybe God will let us know that in the future but perhaps we’ll never know until we meet him face-to-face.

So family life has changed and we are still adjusting to those changes.

But with the other things in my life it’s almost like nothing has happened – how can the world continue on when we’ve had such a devastating event in our lives?  It’s a really strange paradigm to be in and those of you who have lost close family members will understand what I mean I’m sure.

I have been putting together another book this year called “It Happened By Design” and it’s a series of God-incidences from a number of contributing authors. Had I been the only author I would have held off till the new year to publish it but because I’d promised the other authors to get this out before Christmas I still went ahead with it, although it was delayed for a few weeks.  I know they all understood and were patient with me.

The new book is now available online to order in Australia or at Amazon.com and there is a book launch on Monday 1st December for the Amazon.com promotion.  Why not pop over to that site to check it out?

Proverbs 31: 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

Recently I received a phone call from my church, asking if I would make a meal for a family who had members unwell and the mother had been in hospital.

This is the first time I’ve ever been asked to do this by any church I’ve belonged to.  I felt both honoured and pleased they asked me.  Perhaps it’s because I’m always seen as a very busy person and I am, but I have the privilege of working for myself in my own home office and if I want to take time to do something for someone, then I can.  I answered ‘yes’ without hesitation and set my Outlook reminder to 4pm that day so I could go out into the kitchen and prepare an evening meal for this lovely family that my husband and I have begun developing a friendship with over the past few months.

When I delivered the meal I didn’t want to stay long and intrude on the family but I was invited in to chat with the husband and wife for a short period of time. They were delighted to see me and very grateful for what I’d brought them and acknowledged they knew how busy I am.  That brought us to a conversation about my business and how things are progressing.  And then Janet said something that I later repeated to my husband and didn’t fully comprehend until I said it.  She said ‘Some women return home to escape from the outside world.  You returned home to reach the world’.

Graham and I discussed this comment and he mentioned that he felt that Janet often had very insightful comments.   It is true that through my business, my writings and through speaking at churches and seminars that I have reached many, many people and yet that had not been my goal or my intention when I first came back home to work over 14 years ago.  I was fed up with the corporate world and I was anxious to be home for our 5 daughters.  But God has turned that into something really special.  All those years of experience, trial and tribulation have brought with it lessons I can share with others.

Our senior pastor has been preaching a series on ‘church without walls’ and I can truly say that through my working at home, and in sharing with and caring for others online I have truly reached out beyond my own walls.  Puts a whole new slant on the verse above doesn’t it?  As you’re reading this right now it means you have internet access.  How many people do you think you can reach and touch through the ministry that God has planned for you?

A gift to you – this song gives me goosebumps every time I hear it and every time I sing it. Something special happens when you give voice to this song. I’m assuming you’ve heard of Darlene Zschech but if not, here is your introduction to her. Enjoy!

That’s what I used to be told when I was young.  I guess I was always a dreamer and I know I was definitely a loner.  Being on my own for hours on end never bothered me.  I entertained myself with books and with my writing – I was always writing, even as a young child.  And my dreams would take me to places that I could only dream about.

My parents did not have a lot of money and with 4 children in the space of just over 5 years and only one income in the household, it meant that we did not get to travel much and only in our own state.  We never went without, don’t get me wrong. Our home was filled with love, we were always fed and well clothed.  Mum sewed and cooked and kept house and did everything a mother should do. She was always home for us kids and we never came home to an empty house.

However I remember things that were said at school, at friend’s places, and in our home that made me feel I shouldn’t be hoping, or dreaming, or expecting for bigger or better things in my life. That I shouldn’t get my hopes up.  And I found as I got older that I was the one in control of my own life, my hopes and plans and dreams. I kept reading books that would fill my mind with what could be and I determined to learn more and more.  My grandmother told me when I was aged 14 ‘the day I stop learning is the day I die’ and I determined I would always keep learning.

Verse 26 tells us ‘She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue’ and I want to encourage you to think about what you say to and around your children. Do your words and actions tell them not to get their hopes up? Perhaps it’s not even your own children but kids who hang around where you are on a regular basis.  You can’t take back words you speak and it’s so easy to say something in jest but for it to be taken to heart in someone else.

I don’t know who it was that told me ‘don’t get your hopes up’ but I can tell you I carried that phrase with me for almost 30 years.  And it was only because of a very kind couple who took my husband and I under their wings, and fed us with motivational tapes and books, and took us to listen to people who had fascinating stories to tell, that my hopes did rise and that I learned I could take action and make something of my life.  That is was up to me and it had nothing to do with how I grew up, my own personal circumstances, or how rich or poor I might be.  It had to do with how I responded to things and the decisions I made. And I learnt not to tell my own children ‘don’t get your hopes up’.  Instead I encouraged them and shared with them, and told them to go for their dreams and you know what? They are!

hopes, dreams, don’t get your hopes up, wisdom, instruction, Proverbs 31:26