and faithful instruction is on her tongue Prov 31:26

It’s not always easy to know what the right thing to do or say is.

I manage a forum of over 1,000 people, mainly women, in the Virtual Assistant industry.  The forum is many years old but in recent years I’ve felt the need to bring on board some moderators for a number of reasons – some are on the other side of the world to me and they can moderate messages when I’m in bed asleep.

But there are times when we need to discuss a certain member for not behaving well on the forum or to another member who becomes demanding and insists we do things their way.

Over the past couple of years I’ve had a small number of newer members take exception to an older member and they feel I should be banning her from the list.  I’ve struggled with this particular problem and took it to my moderators for discussion – it wasn’t a decision I wanted to wrestle with on my own.

Thankfully my team of moderators are a group of wise women of varying ages and experiences and each were able to give me their perspective and thoughts on the women involved in this latest conflict. And they were able to help me see things in perspective.

When you’re in the middle of conflict and each side hold what seem to be convincing arguments it’s often hard to see the wood for the trees.  You need to be able to step back and look from both sides, and seek wise counsel.  We can’t always know the answers ourselves.

In the midst of this I had prayed to God for an answer and as if to help put the final part to the answer, this evening a lady I know from another state rang me out of the blue. She manages a network about 12 times the size of mine, but like me, it’s her business, and like me, she has problems with members from time to time. As she says ‘they are human and all have different personalities.  They need to learn to get over it or go without’.

I didn’t know Lyn was going to call me and I had not contacted her about my problem.  I had responded to a newsletter she’d sent out several days ago and it was tonight she chose to ring me and encourage me and just have a chat.  She’d been away interstate and hadn’t seen my email of encouragement to her until this evening.

Isn’t God good? He provided a woman with 12 times the ‘talent’ that I have (see Matthew 25:14-30) to call me on the very day I’d been struggling with a problem, providing just the answer by a woman who could speak wisdom and faithful instruction into my life. Thank you Father!

Proverbs 31:26, faithful instruction, speak with wisdom, Proverbs 31 Woman

Proverbs 1:8b ‘… and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.’

Do you hear your mother in yourself when speaking to your children? I know I do. Repeating things that were said over and over and over again. Learning by repetition. Some of those things I found I had to curb when my children were younger because of things I have learnt as an adult and because of my faith. But other things were good to uphold and continue to teach to my daughters and hopefully they will follow through with their own families.

Throughout Proverbs and other books in the bible we are told the same thing over and over and over again. And we are encouraged to bring up our children in the training and instruction of our Lord (Ephesians 6:4). It is important to repeat the lessons often so that they can be instilled in our children. And for that reason, we should also check ourselves – our actions, our words, are we living a life that reflects what we are teaching our children? Mothers, our children need us.  Let’s not forsake teaching our children.

Joash was seven yars old when he became king… All his life Joash did what was right because Jehoiada the High priest instructed him. 2 Kings 11;21, 12:2 The Living Bible

Funny how these verses are suddenly now coming to my attention but I feel it is such an important message for us all. On the radio this morning was an article about a schoolboy who had been expelled due to drug trafficking at the school a couple of months ago. Apparently the police weren’t involved and the school was choosing to deal with it themselves, counselling all the boys involved and some were suspended for a time.

Not knowing the full details it’s hard to know what to think but I am concerned that the boys involved may think that the matter was simply swept ‘under the carpet’ and that it may lead to worse things later in life. Of course there is the usual media hype about what’s taken place and people now making comment that the police should have been involved. I know if I were a parent of a child at that school I’d be asking lots of questions.

Our children are so easily influenced by their surroundings and their peers and parents have a really hard job ahead of them in trying to keep children on a straight and narrow path. But if it is instilled in them from a young age they are more likely to respect their parents’ opinion and seek to earn their parents’ respect. Some worry that it might stifle their child and restrict development if they are too ‘instructive’ whilst the child is young but if kids are left to roam ‘free’ and are not corrected from a very young age, it is far too late to change that once they reach early teens or even the pre-pubescent age. Children need to know their boundaries from a very young age – how else are they going to learn right from wrong if not from their parents?

Just as we are taught in Proverbs 22:6 “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” This is not to say children don’t stray as they go older – often they will, but if they have no basis for knowing right from wrong they are less likely to experience a personal inner conviction when they have done something they shouldn’t.

Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The final verse of this book! It took me almost a year to get through this – that hadn’t been my intention when I first started but it seems fitting I finish the last verse on the last day of the year.

This verse shows that the Proverbs 31 woman bears fruit for all she has done. She has virtue, she is faithful, she is a loving and caring mother and wife who provides for her family all that is necessary, she is a good manager, is a good worker and is industrious, she is wise in business, kind in nature, looks out for those who are needy, she is praiseworthy, excels at what she does and fears the Lord. A tall order for us all to aim for, and yet if we aim for nothing we will get just that – nothing! I can’t profess to be a Proverbs 31 Woman – at least not in entirety, but that is my aim.

I will continue to post periodically as I think of things that relate to this topic and I welcome your comments which might also encourage discussion. Bless you and thank you for coming to read this blog.  KMT

Charm is deceptive, and beauty if fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

There are few things which last longer than life itself, but our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ does, along with God and the Holy Spirit. We can show so much charm, we can hide our facade of who we really are for only so long, but eventually weaknesses show through, the cover or armour gets chipped, corners get broken. The beauty we have with youth matures and changes with age – some for the better as they get older, and others look rather weathered and worse off.

If a man chooses to marry a woman based simply on her charm and her good looks, he stands to be disappointed some time later – sometimes much sooner than later. I believe that’s why marrying in haste can be disastrous. And if one marries purely for the sake of passion and lust, it will not be long-lasting. Many get married mistaking these feelings for love. It takes time to get to know the real person underneath, and to understand how that person is made up. But, if the woman is someone who fears and loves the Lord with all her heart, then the man who is set on marrying her stands to benefit from a jewel in his life – someone who is worth far more than rubies, as verse 10 in this book tells us. The beauty within goes far deeper than skin, looks and charm, and the heart of this woman is something to be valued and respected, and fully appreciated.  More than that, the man can trust and know that she hears from the Lord and will respect and love her husband as God intended.

Blessed is the man who seeks and marries a woman who understands Proverbs 31 and who seeks to be the best she can be.

Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all

In some bible versions it says ‘daughters’ rather than women and talks of ‘excellence’ rather than being ‘noble’. Who is it that has surpassed them all? And what is it that she’s done so excellently?

I believe that it is referring in entirety to the Proverbs 31 woman and how she has carried herself, and her role as mother, wife, woman in an excellent and noble manner, that she has surpassed all others in the way she carries herself.

Such a high ideal for us all to meet, but certainly one worth aiming for. Have you noticed how if you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it? Then so must we hit something if we aim at something – even if it isn’t the bullseye.

If your life’s goal is to be a Proverbs 31 woman, to provide for your family through your gifts, abilities, resources at hand, etc, then your family will certainly benefit and you can be sure of receiving a message of ‘well done, good and faithful servant’ when your time is done here on earth. For what better cause is there than to bring up children to be God-fearing adults and to care for and support a hard-working husband, being in total partnership with him? Eve was created to be a help-mate to her husband, Adam, and so it is with us today. Men and women, partners in the household and family, each carrying out their particular roles for the benefit of each member of the family.  Perhaps there is some merit in that phrase ‘behind every successful man is a woman’ – particularly if she is a Proverbs 31 woman.  KMT

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

Blessed is the woman whose children appreciate her. Little kids do but as the children grow older, they often tend to take mum for granted. It’s not until they, themselves, become parents that they begin to appreciate all that mum did for them. And if mum is truly blessed, they’ll let her know just how much they appreciate her for all she’s done. On occasion it might even happen before a child becomes a parent themselves.

We’ve brought up five daughters and it’s not been without its challenges. I have had moments when one or the other of the girls have made it known how much they appreciate something that I have done for them. But there have been times when no appreciation has been shown and that’s when my husband has been a real blessing – letting me know that he understands and appreciates all I’ve done for the girls, as they’ve been growing up. I know that as our girls become mothers, a new relationship between them and me will develop and I’ll have opportunity to mentor and teach younger women, just as we’re taught in Titus 2:4. KMT

Proverbs 31:28, blessed, Titus 2:4, appreciation

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

I’ve known very few women in my life who are idle. I’m talking about those who are married with a family to care for. Oh, I’ve met the occasional one who doesn’t seem to do anything but sit in front of the TV with absolute chaos reigning around them, but they’ve been few and far between – perhaps I just don’t mix in the same circles.

Women who have active lives do not ‘eat the bread of idleness’, but rather seem to cram as much as they can into their lives to keep the household running smoothly, to help all family members achieve whatever they’ve set out to do, and then still do what they need to do, whether it’s working in a job of some kind, fulfilling a voluntary role, or something else. Almost every woman I know fits into this mould. Why do we do this? Try to get as much done as possible and leave very little time to ourselves? And what about time for God?

Some might argue that it’s our current social climate but I argue that it is inbuilt, that it is in a woman’s nature – this verse seems to indicate that women have been like this for a long time! And I believe it is a good thing – women watching over their household and keeping busy. But let’s not forget how important it is that we set aside time for our Lord, time to pray to Him, time to talk to Him, and more importantly, time to listen. KMT

proverbs 31:27, proverbs 31 woman, idleness, busy-ness, chaos, household

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Much of what the Proverbs 31 woman speaks about and gives guidance from, is based on past experience and the company she keeps.

Our whole lives are made up of a combination of a number of things and these two: experience and our environment, are two important aspects of that. The Proverbs 31 Woman keeps company with her God, she seeks His guidance, His wisdom, spends time in His presence, reads His Word and instils it into her heart. This is her ‘environment’ and the company she is keeping. And then the experiences she has in her life is shaped by how much God is in her life and as she goes through life she seeks His support and guidance in dealing with the things of life.

From there, she can speak with wisdom and give faithful instruction to those she has a responsibility for – her children, those entrusted to her care, younger women seeking guidance.

Prayer: Thank you Father that you faithfully guide us and instruct us in the things of life, so that we can share what we’ve learnt to others who also need to know these things. Help us to be the Proverbs 31 women you would have us be so that we can help guide others in your ways. Amen.

Proverbs 31:26, wisdom, faithful instruction, Proverbs 31 woman

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

There is still room today for the modern woman and housewife, to have an assurance of things to come. We hear and see so much doom and gloom around us, and yet, as a Woman of God, we should have an assurance that the days to come will be even better, knowing that our Lord is with us. We are given this promise all throughout the New Testament, and the Old Testament foretold many of the things we read of in the N.T.

There is something about a home that has a Woman of God caring for it, and lovingly caring for her family. She has a quiet dignity about her, a confidence in who she is and what she is about. A confidence that she knows who is in control and this gives her the ability to ‘laugh at the days to come’, even in the face of heartache that abounds around us from time to time.

Prayer: Thank you Father that you provide us with an assurety of your never ending love, and your continual interest in our lives. Please help us to share this same assurety with our families, showing them that they too, can feel confident of the future that You have within Your hands. Amen.

Proverbs 31:25, strength, Proverbs 31 woman