Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The final verse of this book! It took me almost a year to get through this – that hadn’t been my intention when I first started but it seems fitting I finish the last verse on the last day of the year.

This verse shows that the Proverbs 31 woman bears fruit for all she has done. She has virtue, she is faithful, she is a loving and caring mother and wife who provides for her family all that is necessary, she is a good manager, is a good worker and is industrious, she is wise in business, kind in nature, looks out for those who are needy, she is praiseworthy, excels at what she does and fears the Lord. A tall order for us all to aim for, and yet if we aim for nothing we will get just that – nothing! I can’t profess to be a Proverbs 31 Woman – at least not in entirety, but that is my aim.

I will continue to post periodically as I think of things that relate to this topic and I welcome your comments which might also encourage discussion. Bless you and thank you for coming to read this blog.  KMT

Charm is deceptive, and beauty if fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

There are few things which last longer than life itself, but our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ does, along with God and the Holy Spirit. We can show so much charm, we can hide our facade of who we really are for only so long, but eventually weaknesses show through, the cover or armour gets chipped, corners get broken. The beauty we have with youth matures and changes with age – some for the better as they get older, and others look rather weathered and worse off.

If a man chooses to marry a woman based simply on her charm and her good looks, he stands to be disappointed some time later – sometimes much sooner than later. I believe that’s why marrying in haste can be disastrous. And if one marries purely for the sake of passion and lust, it will not be long-lasting. Many get married mistaking these feelings for love. It takes time to get to know the real person underneath, and to understand how that person is made up. But, if the woman is someone who fears and loves the Lord with all her heart, then the man who is set on marrying her stands to benefit from a jewel in his life – someone who is worth far more than rubies, as verse 10 in this book tells us. The beauty within goes far deeper than skin, looks and charm, and the heart of this woman is something to be valued and respected, and fully appreciated.  More than that, the man can trust and know that she hears from the Lord and will respect and love her husband as God intended.

Blessed is the man who seeks and marries a woman who understands Proverbs 31 and who seeks to be the best she can be.

Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all

In some bible versions it says ‘daughters’ rather than women and talks of ‘excellence’ rather than being ‘noble’. Who is it that has surpassed them all? And what is it that she’s done so excellently?

I believe that it is referring in entirety to the Proverbs 31 woman and how she has carried herself, and her role as mother, wife, woman in an excellent and noble manner, that she has surpassed all others in the way she carries herself.

Such a high ideal for us all to meet, but certainly one worth aiming for. Have you noticed how if you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it? Then so must we hit something if we aim at something – even if it isn’t the bullseye.

If your life’s goal is to be a Proverbs 31 woman, to provide for your family through your gifts, abilities, resources at hand, etc, then your family will certainly benefit and you can be sure of receiving a message of ‘well done, good and faithful servant’ when your time is done here on earth. For what better cause is there than to bring up children to be God-fearing adults and to care for and support a hard-working husband, being in total partnership with him? Eve was created to be a help-mate to her husband, Adam, and so it is with us today. Men and women, partners in the household and family, each carrying out their particular roles for the benefit of each member of the family.  Perhaps there is some merit in that phrase ‘behind every successful man is a woman’ – particularly if she is a Proverbs 31 woman.  KMT

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

Blessed is the woman whose children appreciate her. Little kids do but as the children grow older, they often tend to take mum for granted. It’s not until they, themselves, become parents that they begin to appreciate all that mum did for them. And if mum is truly blessed, they’ll let her know just how much they appreciate her for all she’s done. On occasion it might even happen before a child becomes a parent themselves.

We’ve brought up five daughters and it’s not been without its challenges. I have had moments when one or the other of the girls have made it known how much they appreciate something that I have done for them. But there have been times when no appreciation has been shown and that’s when my husband has been a real blessing – letting me know that he understands and appreciates all I’ve done for the girls, as they’ve been growing up. I know that as our girls become mothers, a new relationship between them and me will develop and I’ll have opportunity to mentor and teach younger women, just as we’re taught in Titus 2:4. KMT

Proverbs 31:28, blessed, Titus 2:4, appreciation

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

I’ve known very few women in my life who are idle. I’m talking about those who are married with a family to care for. Oh, I’ve met the occasional one who doesn’t seem to do anything but sit in front of the TV with absolute chaos reigning around them, but they’ve been few and far between – perhaps I just don’t mix in the same circles.

Women who have active lives do not ‘eat the bread of idleness’, but rather seem to cram as much as they can into their lives to keep the household running smoothly, to help all family members achieve whatever they’ve set out to do, and then still do what they need to do, whether it’s working in a job of some kind, fulfilling a voluntary role, or something else. Almost every woman I know fits into this mould. Why do we do this? Try to get as much done as possible and leave very little time to ourselves? And what about time for God?

Some might argue that it’s our current social climate but I argue that it is inbuilt, that it is in a woman’s nature – this verse seems to indicate that women have been like this for a long time! And I believe it is a good thing – women watching over their household and keeping busy. But let’s not forget how important it is that we set aside time for our Lord, time to pray to Him, time to talk to Him, and more importantly, time to listen. KMT

proverbs 31:27, proverbs 31 woman, idleness, busy-ness, chaos, household

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Much of what the Proverbs 31 woman speaks about and gives guidance from, is based on past experience and the company she keeps.

Our whole lives are made up of a combination of a number of things and these two: experience and our environment, are two important aspects of that. The Proverbs 31 Woman keeps company with her God, she seeks His guidance, His wisdom, spends time in His presence, reads His Word and instils it into her heart. This is her ‘environment’ and the company she is keeping. And then the experiences she has in her life is shaped by how much God is in her life and as she goes through life she seeks His support and guidance in dealing with the things of life.

From there, she can speak with wisdom and give faithful instruction to those she has a responsibility for – her children, those entrusted to her care, younger women seeking guidance.

Prayer: Thank you Father that you faithfully guide us and instruct us in the things of life, so that we can share what we’ve learnt to others who also need to know these things. Help us to be the Proverbs 31 women you would have us be so that we can help guide others in your ways. Amen.

Proverbs 31:26, wisdom, faithful instruction, Proverbs 31 woman

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

There is still room today for the modern woman and housewife, to have an assurance of things to come. We hear and see so much doom and gloom around us, and yet, as a Woman of God, we should have an assurance that the days to come will be even better, knowing that our Lord is with us. We are given this promise all throughout the New Testament, and the Old Testament foretold many of the things we read of in the N.T.

There is something about a home that has a Woman of God caring for it, and lovingly caring for her family. She has a quiet dignity about her, a confidence in who she is and what she is about. A confidence that she knows who is in control and this gives her the ability to ‘laugh at the days to come’, even in the face of heartache that abounds around us from time to time.

Prayer: Thank you Father that you provide us with an assurety of your never ending love, and your continual interest in our lives. Please help us to share this same assurety with our families, showing them that they too, can feel confident of the future that You have within Your hands. Amen.

Proverbs 31:25, strength, Proverbs 31 woman

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

As I’ve mentioned before the Proverbs 31 woman works at home and helps contribute to the family income. How many women want to do that today? Heaps, and yet, because of financial commitments and social pressures, they find it hard to be able to do this. It takes time to set up a business, develop a solid client base and know that regular income is coming in. If you’re in the fortunate position of having funds behind you, or a husband who can support you and the family financially whilst you build up your business, then that is great, but what if that isn’t the case?

Perhaps building up your business part time, on the side, slowly is the answer. As long as the funds are used to help get existing commitments out the way, and not establish new ones.

My eldest daughter is a seamstress. She studied Textiles and Formalwear at college and got her Diploma. She currently works with a Dry Cleaner doing repairs on garments, but makes wedding gowns, bridesmaids gowns and formal gowns on the side at home, slowly but surely building a reputation of a good seamstress. This is her passion and she’s willing to do work that will pay the bills, but isn’t her passion, in order to allow time for the other to gradually develop. Her husband is a qualified bookkeeper and will look after that side of the business for her, once she is ready to work fulltime from home – in and around her family (when that happens). After all, she grew through her teen years watching her mother develop a home-based business and she understands the time and effort put in to make it work.

Prayer:  Heavenly Father, thank you for gifting us with the ability to work with our hands, to make provision for our families, and to enjoy the work we are doing.  Thank you Father that You provide for us on a daily basis as we work with faith and what you have given us to do.

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

What wife doesn’t want to feel proud of her husband and support him in all that he does?  And perhaps that is why this verse is here.

But don’t forget that age old saying ‘behind every good man is a good woman’.  How many men struggle because their wives nag, or don’t pull their weight in the family or household, or because of other issues?  For the man to be happy out of home, he also needs to be happy in the home – there needs to be a balance.  For those men who spend more time out of the home and much longer hours in the office or at their workplace, there is the thought that perhaps there is something not quite right at home.  That is not always the case but there are lots of times when it is.

However, that is not an excuse and men/husbands have a responsibility before God whether or not they have a negative wife.

As a virtuous wife and a proverbs-31 woman, it is your duty to ensure that your home is welcoming when your husband comes home – particularly if you are in the household all day, or more hours than he is.   Today’s society doesn’t always allow for that to happen, but whenever possible, it is good for the wife to pave a welcoming path for her husband as he comes home from work.  Life is certainly more harmonious at home when the men feel that their wives are supportive of their roles in life and encouraging.  And they are more keen to get home sooner – even if work is demanding.  KMT

When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

I believe these two verses are about planning ahead, being prepared. Most women I know are naturally good planners, foreseeing their family’s needs and preparing in advance for different things taking place throughout the year. In fact I find that they tend to plan more for their family and their home, but often forget themselves at times in that planning.

Do you find that? I do. Often I’ll organise everything that’s needed for around the home and for each member of the family and leave myself to last. If I don’t have a lot of time left that’s ok, I make do. But I always like to make sure that everyone is cared for, that they have what they need in advance, and that the house is well and truly organised in advance.

We have a wedding in the family coming up in a week’s time – our youngest daughter. And of course there’s been lots of planning involved in that. And there’s always the ‘fear’ that something will get forgotten! Thank goodness there are several of us involved in organising it, and not just one.

Planning means to prepare something on purpose, to have an end in mind. And for the Proverbs 31 woman in the verses above, she was planning for warmth and comfort to her family, both during the day and at night, when the winter came.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, we praise you and thank you that you gave us the ability to plan and prepare ahead. We know that you have a plan for each and every one of us – we see the evidence of this as our lives move on. We seek your guidance in our daily lives and our daily planning, so that we can achieve the things that you would have us do. Help us to become better wives, mothers, sisters, daughters and Proverbs 31 women. Amen.