It’s been a few months since I last wrote here.  My husband is healing but still has a way to go. It’s been just over 8 months since his accident and we’ve been told it could be 12-18 months after the accident before he’s at 95% recovery.  He still suffers a lot of pain and remains on pain killers. Some days are better than others but he is working fulltime, although mostly from home. And he has adjusted to it and actually likes working at home now.  Some years ago when he tore his achilles tendon he hated being stuck at home, even though he was working – he wanted to be in the city.  Things change

I had an accident last month while out bushwalking. I won’t rewrite the whole thing here but if you’re interested in the details, you can read about it at my photography blog, since I was out doing photography when it happened.

I’m now nursing a broken leg and will be on crutches till 1st February when I have to go back and see the surgeon. I spent 8 days in hospital and had to have surgery to have a rod and screws put into my leg.  Consequently my poor husband has had to look after me, the household, meals and the cats – when he struggles to look after himself some days.  What was supposed to be 3 weeks of Christmas holiday leave turned out to be a time of being a Carer for me.  He’s done a wonderful job but he hasn’t had to do it all himself.  And the reason why is because we have a support network of family, friends, neighbours and our church family.  Between them we’ve had shopping done, especially before Christmas, Christmas presents wrapped, the house cleaned, cooked meals provided, errands run, my business mail picked up, and support and prayer.  Without these people we would have been in a far worse state and my husband probably wouldn’t have coped.

Why have I brought this up? A friend on Facebook recently posted about the challenges she is having with her family of boys. One is nearing his teen years. She’s been a widow for a few years now and is struggling to manage her family and finds it a real challenge and very tiring. I asked her if she had contacted her local church and asked for help. Her response was that there are others with worse problems than her and she didn’t want to bother them. I told her she was wrong and that the church will only know there’s a problem and she needs help – if she tells them.

We are often told that God is concerned about every single detail in our lives and that He wants us to bring those concerns to Him.  Likewise I think it’s important we reach out to His people because who is better equipped to help us and be there for us, if not God’s people?

A Proverbs 31 Woman, in most cases, has a man, her husband, to look after her and care for her. But what about those who are widows or without their husbands for some reason? While she will still watch over the affairs of her household (verse 27) she is still very much someone who needs to be looked after.  In the Bible we’re encouraged to look out for widows and orphans – but if you don’t know they have a need, it’s unlikely you’ll be helping them.

If you know a widow (or widower), especially one with young children, why not check on them regularly?  Particularly if they don’t have other family close by.  Unfortunately today so many are separated from their extended family members and are often hundreds of miles away. They’ll be appreciative of adult company and conversation and may not feel they can ask for help – so why not offer it anyway?  And if they say ‘no’, keep in touch – they may just feel that they can’t ask or accept, even when they are in need.

As mentioned recently, my husband has been in hospital for many weeks.  I was anxious for his return home, just as he was.  We missed one another very much – I was lonely at home, and he was missing everything that home represented. Funny, but home seemed so empty with his absence, although in normal circumstances he’s only here at night time, most of the time. He’s away at work Monday-Friday and on weekends usually on mountain bike rides (the cause of the accident) or trail building or out with his mate.  He’ll be home in the evenings and we go to church together on Sunday mornings. Sometimes we go out for dinner, visit family together, or have family meals here.

Well I’m pleased to say he came home last Friday and we were both elated.  Home seems so different now and we talked about how we’ll never take one another for granted again.  There was so much we both missed and never realised just how much we would miss each other and our normal life together.

In the short time he’s been home he has begun being able to do things he could not do while at the hospital.  All part of the healing process but with a difference. Here at home it feels so different (for him) and the healing seems quicker.  Perhaps it’s because the time is more filled with things and it goes faster, perhaps it’s because he’s doing different but every day normal things to what he was doing in the hospital.  I do believe there is something else in it though – love.  I was thinking about what has transpired in the past 72 hours and it’s been filled with love.

Love here at home, love at our church, love from our family and friends.  It hit me – that there is healing in love.

When you read through the verses in Proverbs 31:10-31 you will find that everything the Proverbs 31 Woman does is covered in love.  She brings her husband good, not harm, all the days of her life…. she provides food for her family… she watches over the affairs of her household and so it continues.

When you think further on through the bible though you are reminded of a love that is larger, much larger, and the promise of healing for all.  John 3:16  For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son…  Yes, there is healing in love.

Our responsibility as Proverbs 31 Women isn’t just to our family but to those who surround us too.  Verse 15 speaks of the ‘servant girls’, verse 20 the ‘poor and needy’, verse 24 of ‘merchants’ and verse 31 talks of the ‘city gate’.  In other words, everyone we are in community with.

Verse 26 says ‘She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue’ and while much of this passage relates to the family of the Proverbs 31 Woman, I believe we are encouraged to conduct ourselves in such a way towards all we encounter and have some kind of personal interaction with our friends, neighbours, colleagues, clients, and anyone else we should have contact with.

And so it is with this preface that I encourage you to think carefully about what you say and to whom.  In particular the ‘negative speak’ that often enters our head and exits our mouths before we’ve really thought about it.

Case in point:  My husband is currently in hospital due to a serious accident he had 6 weeks ago.  He suffered spinal cord injury and partial paralysis. Let me first say he is recovering and we’ve been told he can expect 95% full recovery within a 12 month period. This is wonderful and we look forward to that.  However, in his first week he was really worried that he might be permanently paralysed and at times he was concerned he might die.  He was worried about what he’d done to our relationship and our future together.

I knew he was depressed in those first couple of weeks, as did his best friend and I’d shared with our Pastors too. We all worked at building up his spirits, encouraging him and praising him with each new development as he began to sit up again, regain his ability to walk unaided and relearning to use his right hand.  Each day he is able to do a new thing again, small perhaps, but they count and he is making progress.

What I can’t understand is why people (who are otherwise well-meaning) should start relating stories to him of others they’d heard who’d had accidents and died, who’d never recovered, who’d returned home only to have something go wrong and so on.  What kind of encouragement is this to my husband?  It makes my job, and that of those of us encouraging him, all the more harder.

It seems that ‘bad news’ is told better and travels faster than ‘good news’.  I encourage you to consider Ephesians 4:29 ‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen‘.  In other words, if it won’t encourage or build up someone, then don’t say it at all.   Especially when they’re down, or convalescing.

While my husband may appear to be his ‘normal self’ when chattering, the reality is he’s still very vunerable and fragile emotionally and, for the most part, is not in an environment where people are working to build up his spirits, but rather to heal his body.  I am glad he feels he can text or ring me when he needs me to build him up and encourage him. He knows he will always get that from me.  But it is sad that I have to keep ‘putting out fires’ and extinguishing the bad that someone else has conjured up in his mind simply because they had a ‘good’ (but sad) story to tell.

If you are planning to spend time with someone who is getting better, no matter what from, please don’t start pulling out bad luck or sad stories to tell these people. They don’t need them. What they do need are positive stories that will build hope and encourage them in getting better themselves.  Even funny stories, as long as they don’t have bad endings, can help.  Or say nothing at all and just listen to the patient talk about what they need to talk about.  You being a listener is far better for them and healing, than listening to a story that will have them worrying long after you’ve stopped talking to them and gone on to something else.

Bless the people you speak with, don’t mess them up.

A day when all mothers should be shown appreciation and love, but sadly, that isn’t always the case.   Some mothers are estranged from their children, some live a big distance away, often because children have moved, some are just not appreciated.  Some mothers never got the opportunity to see their children grown up because the child was taken from them when only a baby.

And yet God intended for the relationship between mothers and their children to be a blessed one. Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise and called her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her”. How do your children see you as a mother? How does your husband view you?

I hope that you are being revered today and that your family are paying homage to you on this very special day that recognises the value of mothers in several countries. If you haven’t already, have a look at this clip – I hope it blesses you.

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It’s daughters Week! If you have a beautiful daughter/s that you
love more than you can describe, copy and paste this to your
status for a little while, but hold them in your heart for a lifetime

The above was posted by a friend on Facebook and I dutifully copied and pasted it onto my wall.  I have daughters I love and am proud of and they are all beautiful people.  I loved them very much as children, but now as adults they are people in their own right, fashioned by their parents and by the world that surrounds them.

They are, indeed, held in my heart and will be for a lifetime.

I hope and pray that they also hold me in a similar light.  P31:28 ‘Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her’ This can only happen if we treat our children in the manner they deserve and as they grow up and become adults, we respect them as adults, not as little children.  Too many times I’ve seen people who have badgered or nagged their adult children about things, when instead they should be loving them and praying for them, and continuing to set an example.  We release them into God’s care and pray that He will continue to direct and guide them throughout their years.

As we get older we’re often tempted to think that our time has passed, that all opportunities are gone, that we’re no longer useful to community.  But this is far from the truth.  Too many people ignore the older folk and miss a wealth of knowledge, history and experience, that is just yearning to be shared.

In verse 12 of Proverbs 31 the last part states ‘all the days of her life’.  All the days of her life. ALL the days of her life.  If you feel sometimes that you have passed your ‘use-by date’ think again. While you are still breathing, while you can still communicate with others, God has a role for you.  YOU are important still to the others around you and you still have opportunity to give meaning to the lives of others.

I’ve just seen this clip and had to share it with you.  I want to be able to do this when I’m her age. I love to sing and it’s only just now (in my 50s) that I feel my voice has matured enough to be strong and appreciated and as a result I am now singing in my church and loving it. And those who hear me let me know they appreciate it too.

I was chatting to a consultant a couple of weeks ago about contribution to society through our respective businesses. I told him how I’ve helped thousands of women (worldwide, not just here in Australia) return home to work and be there for their families.

When you think about it, how many less children would there be out on the streets exposed to all the dangers that are out there if there was a parent at home? How many families wouldn’t have to wait in line for childcare and pay exhorbitant prices because their mothers are working in and at home? How many children would benefit from seeing a work ethic demonstrated in their home because a parent is there working (I’ve helped a few men to do what I do too).  I’ve seen this in my own children.  And my eldest is already running her own business at home caring for her young son.  She’s grown up seeing mum do this so it was natural she should too – and her business is quite a different one to my own.

While not all women are cut out to work at home, and some would go stir-crazy because they need to be elsewhere some of the time, I feel overall that the economy and society would benefit hugely from a parent, in most cases the mother, were at home during the schooling lives of their children. How much different our society might be.

There is value in women finding a way to work at/from home, instead of being out in the workforce.  When at all possible, I believe mothers should be home for their families. That’s not to say they don’t have to work. I’ve been running a fulltime business in my home for most of those 17 years using skills I developed in the corporate world from 20+ years in the workforce peviously.

In Proverbs 31 we know that the woman/mother is working in the home and in verse 18 we are told ‘She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.’   It goes on to tell us about the various things she does for both community (the poor and needy) and her famly at home.

If you are contemplating having a family I encourage you to look and see what it is you could be doing at home, contributing financially to the family household.  And if you’re stuck for ideas, my previous post The Things That I Do will give you some suggestions for working at home.

I haven’t shared in detail at this blog what I do in my work at home although my book “Worth More Than Rubies” does explain it.

I thought I might share what I do here in this blog to give you all hope.

My business began as a homebased secretarial business in 1994. The plan was to find some clients so I could work at home and be there for our 5 daughters. I had no idea how long I would do this for, I just knew I needed to be home while they were still quite young and in school.

18 months later the Internet entered the business scene and I found myself birthing a brand new industry – the Virtual Assistant – in my own country of Australia.    It was rather overwhelming at times – learning about the internet and how to use it for my business and suddenly being in this position of ‘leadership’ where I was guiding other women to do what I’d been doing – for such a short time.  Eventually I met other women online in the UK and Canada going through the exact same emotions.  It was an exciting time of exploration and development.

The Virtual Assistant industry is now around 15 years old and growing and developing.  There are Virtual Assistant networks and organisations in the US, UK, Canada and in Australia with smaller groups in South Africa, Argentina and other countries.  In Asian countries virtual companies have started up that act like virtual typing pools and they outsource their staff as well to clients.  In a time when global economies have been tough, self-employment is on the rise, helping many to gain control of their futures and the income they bring in.

Today I manage a network of Virtual Assistants in 11 countries and provide training and coaching for the industry, speak at conferences and events and write articles. And all the while my focus is on women working at home, being present for their families, just as the Proverbs 31 Woman was. My family was the reason I began working at home. Now my girls are all grown up and have left home, my focus is on helping other women get what I have had for many years. In fact, our eldest daughter is working at home – not doing what I do but is running her own business sewing and doing alterations so she can be home for her own son.

In the last chapter of my book “Worth More Than Rubies” I acknowledge that many women will read that book and think that it’s ok for me, as I have good computer and typing skills, but what about those who haven’t?  Can they also work at home?  My answer is ‘yes’ and I compiled a list of suggestions for that last chapter and which I want to share below.

And if you’re interested in finding out more about what I do, or if you can join my Virtual Assistant team, then why not visit my business site for more details?  As long as you have previous admin experience and good computer skills you would be eligible to do that type of work at home.  And now for that list of suggestions.

1.    Accountant
2.    Affiliate (online book sales, product sales)
3.    Artist
4.    Author
5.    Babysitter/Child carer
6.    Bookkeeper
7.    Breeder (dogs, cats, rabbits, etc)
8.    Business Coach
9.    Car Detailer
10.    Caterer (home cooking)
11.    Computer repairer
12.    Computer trainer
13.    Consultant
14.    Conveyancer
15.    Copywriter
16.    Database Administrator/designer
17.    Desktop Publisher
18.    Direct marketing
19.    Domain Reseller
20.    Dressmaker/Repairs/Alterations
21.    eBay trader
22.    ESL (English as a Second Language) tutor
23.    Freelance writer
24.    Ghost writer
25.    Graphic Designer
26.    Greeting cards
27.    Hair dresser
28.    Help Desk/IT support
29.    Insurance broker
30.    Ironing lady
31.    Jewellery maker
32.    Journalist
33.    Life Coach
34.    Magazine Editor
35.    Mail Order
36.    Marketer
37.    Mechanic
38.    Menu Planner
39.    Mortgage broker
40.    Musician
41.    Music teacher
42.    Non-profit organization – based on your interest or passion
43.    Party Plan operator (e.g. Amway, Avon, LeReve, Mary Kay, Neway, Tupperware)
44.    Photographer
45.    Piano teacher
46.    Professional Organizer
47.    Public Relations
48.    Public Speaker
49.    Publisher
50.    Realtor
51.    Researcher
52.    Resume writer
53.    Secretariat (for membership based groups)
54.    Software writer/architect
55.    Solicitor
56.    Stock broker
57.    Telemarketing
58.    Trainer (e.g. software)
59.    Transcriptionist
60.    Tutor
61.    Virtual Assistant
62.    Web Designer
63.    Web Host
64.    Wedding Planner

I think all kids get embarrased by their parents at some stage. I know when my youngest was only 14 my having grey hair was an embarrassment to her. She told me to go and get it coloured.  And there was one time when we were on a family holiday at a show and I got called out of the audience to be on the stage for a skit.  My very full long hair attracted attention I think and got me noticed.  And of course I had to ham it up when I was on the stage. That was embarrassing for all of our daughters even though all eyes were on me and not them!

I was listening to a song on the radio station and immediately recalled two youtube clips done by separate DJs of that station to the song (Single Ladies).  I remembered saying to the wife of one of the DJs I wonder how their son will take it when he’s older? She had responded he’ll either be embarrassed or will laugh at his dad and join in.

My strain of thought got me thinking.  We can never avoid doing something that will embarrass our kids at certain times in their lives – that’s just how kids are. Our actions or words may make them think that others will think badly of them.  After all kids and teens are ‘me’ focussed and tend to think the whole world revolves around them. And it does to some extent.

However, it’s important that the things that embarrass them then, will not remain an embarrassmentthroughout their lives as they grow into adulthood.  I recall hearing different people through my life speak about their parents in a tone other than pride.  A mother’s actions (and perhaps a Proverbs 31 Woman) and that of the father can vastly affect their child’s thoughts and actions for the rest of their life.

In Proverbs 31:26-28 we are told: She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue, She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idelness.  Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

When your sons and daughters have grown up will they look back and see a mother who spoke with wisdom and will they call you blessed?  Will your husband continue to praise you (and you him)?

It only takes a moment to consider what you are about to say or do and think forward to the consequences.  Self-gratification today through an angry word, a quick reaction, can indeed birth something that will stay for much longer.

For sometime now I’ve been involved with a publication called Footprints  which is a Christian Womens Magazine in Australia.  I’ve been looking after their website and participate in committee discussions and prayer. If you haven’t heard of Footprints then you need to visit their website.   Read what their Editor/Founder has to say.

Spreading the Word – how have you promoted Footprints?

Over the years I’ve tried just about every free or low-cost type of PR that you can think of. I’ve borrowed marketing books from the library and pored over them for hours, seeking inspiration!

Right from our earliest days, I’ve sent press releases and photographs to the media on occasions such as our first birthday, or when a Footprints team member is presenting at a conference. As a result, stories about Footprints have appeared in our local newspapers, the Salvation Army Warcry magazine, the Australian Evangel, websites such as Sight (www.sightmagazine.com), and we have been interviewed on radio stations such as Brisbane’s 96.5FM, Toowoomba’s 92.9 Voice FM, and the Gold Coast’s Rhema FM, to name just a few.

We have held a couple of competitions over the years – they’re great for creating “news” for media releases. We held a writing competition around the them of “God Answered My Prayer” (one of our regular columns) a few years ago; more recently we held a cover competition for our 50^th issue.

Along the same lines, I’ve also written articles for numerous Christian publications and websites, and as a thank you, received a bit of a plug with my by-line or perhaps a free ad. Footprints hasn’t taken out much paid advertising in other Christian publications; we’ve never really had the budget!

Speaking engagements are another great way to spread the word about Footprints. In the early years I experimented with sending a few introductory packs to churches, with some sample copies, flyers and a reference from my pastor.  However, it didn’t seem to generate much interest. When I phoned to find out the general reaction to the packs I had sent, they seemed to think I was “selling something” so weren’t interested. Sadly, they didn’t catch the “Footprints” vision and how it could benefit them and their flock.

However, I tried a different tactic a couple of years ago by sending out a pack along with a letter offering our “speaker services”, and that was much more successful! Although I personally don’t do much speaking these days due to time constraints (I also work four days per week), a couple of the other girls on the Footprints Team also do some and so spread the word about Footprints.

Getting involved at community events has also been part our promotional strategy. Back in 2000 the churches in my area put on an Easter festival, and Footprints organised the Mum’s Sanity Corner tent – playdough for the kids, and free tea/coffee for the parents. It was a quiet spot for young families to unwind, and parents could feed and change their babies. We had a Footprints display, as well as some copies and lots of flyers available.

Sometimes we host a display stand at conferences or Christian events, and often donate vouchers for a free magazine to churches to put in their goody bags when they hold an event. Ideally we’d love to send them free magazines to put in the goody bags, but have never had the finances to be able to do that. At least by having a voucher, we know that if somebody takes the time to request their “freebie”, they are more likely to sign up rather than sowing our seed (magazines) willy-nilly.

The internet offers a world of opportunities for promotion! As the internet can be a scary place, and we realise that Footprints is an “unknown quantity” to many people, we offer a free copy of the magazine to Aussie visitors to our website. Our presence on the net has now expanded to include a blog, Facebook fan page, and a free monthly FOCUS ezine. FOCUS in particular is a great way to keep getting our name in front of interested Christians. I try to make it good value with a quality devotion in each issue (to help readers FOCUS on God in the midst of their busy lives), as well as all the latest in the world of Footprints. Marketing experts say that you have to keep getting your name in front of prospective clients, and the FOCUS ezine, and regular updates to our blog and Facebook page, are a couple of the ways we try to achieve that.

This blog tour is hopefully going to generate lots of interest in Footprints too! When I first came across the idea, I thought it was ideal for Footprints – people who read Aussie Christian blogs by women are highly likely to be interested in our magazine – they obviously like reading; and many of them have a blog themselves and enjoy writing. So as well as being potential new subscribers, we will also be introduced to possible new contributors. Gotta be happy with that!

And who’s on the team?

Right from the moment I first told them of my “brainwave” to launch a Christian women’s magazine, I had several friends who pledged their support. A couple of them are still on board over 12 years later! Melanie was my best friend in high school; her sister Nicola is also on the Footprints Team. It is amazing to think that God was putting the pieces together for Footprints all those years ago, long before we ever thought of it! Vivian is another of the original Team members, we became friends when we were attending the same church.

Sonia has been our prayer warrior for several years now; and Jenny came on board about 5 years ago. Both girls knew of Footprints through their friendship with other girls on the Team, and gradually became involved.

Some of our Team members I first “met” through email – including you Kathie (our wonderful web editor); Victoria, the lady who provides our cover photography; Narelle, our WA rep; and Cate. We have also had a couple of readers, like Margaret, Kylie, Annie and Pauline, who have loved Footprints so much that they sought out a greater involvement.

The girls each have their own gifts and talents which they contribute to Footprints. We have you Kathie as web editor, and Victoria as our cover photographer. Vivian is a psychologist and Nicola has qualifications in counselling, expertise which I often rely on when writing or compiling articles. Melanie and Nicola do some official Footprints speaking engagements, and are prolific writers. Narelle, Cate and Kylie write a lot of our articles. Pauline, Margaret and Annie are fantastic helpers when it’s time to package up the magazines ready for mail out. Jenny is an accountant and helps us keep our finances on track! Vivian, Annie, Jenny and Kathie all have experience in being on the management committee of other not-for-profit organisations, which has been invaluable since we incorporated earlier this year! And all of us pray!

All of these lovely ladies donate their time and talents to Footprints. I often and joke and tell that although the pay is non-existent, the rewards are out of this world! I’d still love to have a graphic designer, and a PR person join our team, so this is one of our key prayer points at the moment. The more Footprints grows, the more helpers are needed and the more I am learning that I really CAN’T do it all and I am gradually learning the art of delegation!

Follow these links for the rest of the tour:

•Tuesday 29/6 – Back up to the southside of Brisbane for a chat with Lil from http://motheringmisadventures.blogspot.com/

•Wednesday 30/6 – Head on over to Brisbane’s northern outskirts for Corallie’s feature on Footprints at http://buchanan-beeline.blogspot.com/

•Thursday 1/7 – Joni from the Blue Mountains in NSW plays host to the Footprints blog tour today at http://every1matters.wordpress.com/

•Friday 2/7 – Go west dear reader, as we chat with Narelle from Perth at http://www.momentsformum.com/ (Narelle is also our WA state rep).

•Saturday 3/7 – Back to the Brissie girls, with the popular http://www.squigglemum.com/ for an interview with Cath.

•Sunday 4/7 – Still in Brisbane , with Paula at http://paulassharingspot.blogspot.com/

•Monday 5/7 – Heading west – but not quite so far this time! Stopping in with Kelly in Toowoomba at http://beafunmum.com/

•Tuesday 6/7 – And finally, an interview practically in our own backyard with Tabitha in the Redlands at http://tabithabird.blogspot.com/