I have been running a discussion forum for P31 women at Ning but recent Ning annoucements have made me think about the direction of this group. With close to 200 members there is obviously an interest in this topic and a need for women to reach out to each other, however the style of forum meant members had to log in to find out what was happening and they weren’t receiving email notifications of updates or new members unless they subscribed to those threads.

I sent a message to members asking if they wanted the forum to continue or shall I just let it die and many emailed me saying if it were in email format they would participate and don’t want to see it go.

So I’ve now set the forum up at yahoogroups – the link is in the menu on the right of this blog or you can click on the link above.  Our intention is simply to connect with one another, share on our challenges and ask for prayer when needed, praise God for the good things in our lives, lean on each other, cry and laugh together and generally share the things that women love to share.

It is still a closed forum in that you need to be approved as a member to join and discussion are for members only.  We would love to see you there!

Do you remember my devotional about Roger?

http://proverbs31-woman.com/2008/12/10/you-bless-him/

Today I went back to our old house to do a final inspection after the cleaners had gone through to make sure all was in order before handing the keys over to the selling agent for the new owner.

After that I popped into the local shopping centre to buy some new summery frocks. I live in jeans but now I’m in the country I have this urge to once again wear long flowing loose summer frocks.

While wandering around the centre I saw a familiar man stooped over and walking.  It was Roger. I’d never seen him at the shopping centre before – it’s very large with lots of department stores and specialty shops. I’ve only ever seen him at the small shopping strip close to our old home.

I thought about whether to go say hi and turned around and noticed he’d stopped and he was holding his forehead in his hand.  This is a normal pose for him. I think he gets tired walking around but does lots of it.  So I went up to him and stood in front so he could see me (he’s partially deaf) and said ‘hello Roger’.  His whole face lit up when he recognised me.  He said hi and I explained we’d shifted and told him where. He said to me we were very lucky.  Sounds like he knows the area.  I asked him how was his Christmas and his face dropped, he said not special. I asked him if he saw his sisters and he said yes.  I asked him how his church was and his face lit up again and he said it was good.  He asked my name – he’d never known it and shook my hand.  I wished him the best and moved off again but not before saying I thought of him often.  He’ll never know I’ve written about him and that my story might have prompted others to look for people like him to bless.

I hope I’ve blessed his day.  I prayed for him as I went on my way.

This year has been very different to the past years of our lives.  We’ve gone through tremendous upheaval and change which began almost 12 months ago when we lost our darling Miriam.

If anyone had told us at the beginning of September last year that nearly every member of our immediate family would be moving house this year and that we would be missing a member of our family too, we just would not have believed them.

It’s been a long slow year – one where I’ve been anxious to get back to some sort of normality and yet when opportunities arise, particularly through my business, I am slow to respond or take things up.

I’ve been very reluctant to go out in the evenings so have missed a year’s worth of business networking events and church events. I haven’t wanted to leave Graham alone and I haven’t really felt like being with groups of people.  Neither has he for that matter.

The book I was going to write has been put on hold but I am a contributing author for an anthology of poems and short stories about babies and impending motherhood called “Even Before You Were Born“.  The poem I wrote back in the 1980s.

I’d been planning a number of things for my business and team this year – at least I was going to plan them, but the year is almost over and I haven’t moved forward with them.  I wrote things down and thought about them but they progressed no further.

I did set business and personal goals in January this year, as I do each year, and I have achieved 5 out of 11 things which isn’t too bad (45%) – but I usually achieve 85-90% of my goals.

It recently hit me that I’m entitled to ‘time out’ – time to reflect, time to heal, time to just vegetate if I need and want to.

Why do we (and particularly women I mean) feel guilty if we just take time out?

When we look at the Proverbs 31 woman in Chapter 31 of Proverbs she seems to be constantly on the go, always doing, never letting her lamp go out.    But if we look more closely at these verses there are hints that because of her previous hard work, profitable trading, her planning and preparation, she has no fear for her household (v21) and she can laugh at the days to come (v25).

Perhaps I am allowed to take time out after all and not feel guilty about it, simply because of all I have done in the past.  I need to allow myself time to renew, refresh, heal, rest, and gain new enthusiasm for life and all it promises in the days to come.

I manage a forum for women interested in being Proverbs 31 women and I had shared with them there about the loss of our daughter some months ago.  One of the women had commented she didn’t know how she’d cope with something like that.

My response to her astounded me even – it was like God was speaking to us through my fingers.  I hope what I share below will help you too.

It hasn’t been easy by any means and we’re only 9 months down the track.  Two weeks ago (almost) my cousin lost his son in a car accident.  My cousin is not a Christian and now I feel that it’s my role and responsibility to reach out to him and his wife. I hadn’t seen a lot of them over the past 2 or 3 years so I’ll be making up for it now and keeping in constant touch. The funeral was Tuesday just gone so it’s very early days for them yet.

I find often that our healing takes place when we are helping others, our growth takes place through our own personal hardships. So one needs to follow the other so we have this balance of growth and healing.

Now, I hadn’t even thought about that till I typed it just now.

The Proverbs 31 woman was a wife, mother and business woman. It’s important to remember those three aspects – all knitted into one.

Today women struggle to manage all their various roles and the many hats they wear, daughter, sister, auntie, wife, mother, friend, lover, worker, nurse, house duties and so on. Just where do we become ‘me’?

I believe as we grow older we begin to learn more about ourselves but in our younger adult years while coping with a family and work, and being a good wife we can often feel lost from who we really are.

Don’t despair, others have been there before you and it will become more ordered as your life moves on. Content yourself in God’s word and the instructions of King Lemuel’s mother about the Proverbs 31 Woman.

If your family loves you, if your husband knows you care for the home and provide for your family in ways only you can do, if you love the Lord your God and seek His assurance, then you will eventually see who you are and where you have been. You might even get an inkling of where you are going with your life. I know I have.  And when I was first told about the Proverbs 31 Woman many years ago by a wonderful woman pastor at the church I attended I had no idea what God had in store for me in days ahead.

Now I look towards the Titus 2 woman and can see I’m heading in her direction and I know that many of you will be too. And for those of you who are young, perhaps you’ll find a Titus 2 woman in your life to help guide you.