proverbs31-woman.com

Do you remember my devotional about Roger?

http://proverbs31-woman.com/2008/12/10/you-bless-him/

Today I went back to our old house to do a final inspection after the cleaners had gone through to make sure all was in order before handing the keys over to the selling agent for the new owner.

After that I popped into the local shopping centre to buy some new summery frocks. I live in jeans but now I’m in the country I have this urge to once again wear long flowing loose summer frocks.

While wandering around the centre I saw a familiar man stooped over and walking.  It was Roger. I’d never seen him at the shopping centre before – it’s very large with lots of department stores and specialty shops. I’ve only ever seen him at the small shopping strip close to our old home.

I thought about whether to go say hi and turned around and noticed he’d stopped and he was holding his forehead in his hand.  This is a normal pose for him. I think he gets tired walking around but does lots of it.  So I went up to him and stood in front so he could see me (he’s partially deaf) and said ‘hello Roger’.  His whole face lit up when he recognised me.  He said hi and I explained we’d shifted and told him where. He said to me we were very lucky.  Sounds like he knows the area.  I asked him how was his Christmas and his face dropped, he said not special. I asked him if he saw his sisters and he said yes.  I asked him how his church was and his face lit up again and he said it was good.  He asked my name – he’d never known it and shook my hand.  I wished him the best and moved off again but not before saying I thought of him often.  He’ll never know I’ve written about him and that my story might have prompted others to look for people like him to bless.

I hope I’ve blessed his day.  I prayed for him as I went on my way.

Proverbs 31:31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

My husband and I have been house hunting for most of this year.  We wanted to buy a place in the country with some land – not too much but not too little. We didn’t want to be close up against neighbours and wanted some peace and quiet.  Our children have left the nest and we are empty-nesters now, enjoying our pre-retirement stage.  We’re free to do what we want in the evenings and weekends and just do nothing if that suits us.

Not that either of us are the type to just sit in front of TV and do nothing. We are both active people.  He enjoys mountain bike riding and is out every weekend, I enjoy my photography and often join him on his trips so I can wander off to enjoy the scenery behind the viewpoint of my camera while he enjoys his rides with his mates.

We finally found the house a couple of months ago. We shift in this coming weekend.  The wait was worth it, although we despaired whether we would find the right place.

Because we are in pre-retirement stage we are conscious also of our bodies growing older and the needs that older people have. We wanted to be sure we were close enough for medical support if needed later in years. We had to have a place where the land was reasonably flat so our knees wouldn’t give out on walking steep slopes every day.  And God has been good and provided the right place.   2 acres in an area that is nearly all sloped. We think we got the only ‘flat’ piece of land in the area – well almost!  3/4 of the land has lawns and plants and a tennis court. The rest is bushland and sloped at the back of the block.  Native birdlife and we’re told some animal life too, which I look forward to seeing.

Now comes the hard part. All the packing. I feel like I’ve been doing it for weeks and that’s probably because I have.  I am so over packing and just want it to end.  But every day I get stuck back into it, after knocking off from my work early in the day. I don’t want my husband coming home and feeling overwhelmed with how much there is to do.  We’re nearly at the end part of it.

When I look at the last verse of Proverbs 31 I wonder how often the P31 woman also felt like this.  Like there was no end to the work in sight but she knew she had to press on.  And look at how she is remembered all this time later!  She did achieve, she did succeed and she earned her reward.  She is a woman for us to look up to and admire, and want to be like. She was a hard worker and that hard work paid off.

For me, my reward will be the unpacking in just a few short days and being able to take photos inside and outside our new home.  Being able to sit back and enjoy the solitude of the country and enjoy more of the beautiful nature that God made.  And knowing that I might just experience a little of what the Proverbs 31 woman felt so long ago for a job well done.

This year has been very different to the past years of our lives.  We’ve gone through tremendous upheaval and change which began almost 12 months ago when we lost our darling Miriam.

If anyone had told us at the beginning of September last year that nearly every member of our immediate family would be moving house this year and that we would be missing a member of our family too, we just would not have believed them.

It’s been a long slow year – one where I’ve been anxious to get back to some sort of normality and yet when opportunities arise, particularly through my business, I am slow to respond or take things up.

I’ve been very reluctant to go out in the evenings so have missed a year’s worth of business networking events and church events. I haven’t wanted to leave Graham alone and I haven’t really felt like being with groups of people.  Neither has he for that matter.

The book I was going to write has been put on hold but I am a contributing author for an anthology of poems and short stories about babies and impending motherhood called “Even Before You Were Born“.  The poem I wrote back in the 1980s.

I’d been planning a number of things for my business and team this year – at least I was going to plan them, but the year is almost over and I haven’t moved forward with them.  I wrote things down and thought about them but they progressed no further.

I did set business and personal goals in January this year, as I do each year, and I have achieved 5 out of 11 things which isn’t too bad (45%) – but I usually achieve 85-90% of my goals.

It recently hit me that I’m entitled to ‘time out’ – time to reflect, time to heal, time to just vegetate if I need and want to.

Why do we (and particularly women I mean) feel guilty if we just take time out?

When we look at the Proverbs 31 woman in Chapter 31 of Proverbs she seems to be constantly on the go, always doing, never letting her lamp go out.    But if we look more closely at these verses there are hints that because of her previous hard work, profitable trading, her planning and preparation, she has no fear for her household (v21) and she can laugh at the days to come (v25).

Perhaps I am allowed to take time out after all and not feel guilty about it, simply because of all I have done in the past.  I need to allow myself time to renew, refresh, heal, rest, and gain new enthusiasm for life and all it promises in the days to come.

I manage a forum for women interested in being Proverbs 31 women and I had shared with them there about the loss of our daughter some months ago.  One of the women had commented she didn’t know how she’d cope with something like that.

My response to her astounded me even – it was like God was speaking to us through my fingers.  I hope what I share below will help you too.

It hasn’t been easy by any means and we’re only 9 months down the track.  Two weeks ago (almost) my cousin lost his son in a car accident.  My cousin is not a Christian and now I feel that it’s my role and responsibility to reach out to him and his wife. I hadn’t seen a lot of them over the past 2 or 3 years so I’ll be making up for it now and keeping in constant touch. The funeral was Tuesday just gone so it’s very early days for them yet.

I find often that our healing takes place when we are helping others, our growth takes place through our own personal hardships. So one needs to follow the other so we have this balance of growth and healing.

Now, I hadn’t even thought about that till I typed it just now.

The Proverbs 31 woman was a wife, mother and business woman. It’s important to remember those three aspects – all knitted into one.

Today women struggle to manage all their various roles and the many hats they wear, daughter, sister, auntie, wife, mother, friend, lover, worker, nurse, house duties and so on. Just where do we become ‘me’?

I believe as we grow older we begin to learn more about ourselves but in our younger adult years while coping with a family and work, and being a good wife we can often feel lost from who we really are.

Don’t despair, others have been there before you and it will become more ordered as your life moves on. Content yourself in God’s word and the instructions of King Lemuel’s mother about the Proverbs 31 Woman.

If your family loves you, if your husband knows you care for the home and provide for your family in ways only you can do, if you love the Lord your God and seek His assurance, then you will eventually see who you are and where you have been. You might even get an inkling of where you are going with your life. I know I have.  And when I was first told about the Proverbs 31 Woman many years ago by a wonderful woman pastor at the church I attended I had no idea what God had in store for me in days ahead.

Now I look towards the Titus 2 woman and can see I’m heading in her direction and I know that many of you will be too. And for those of you who are young, perhaps you’ll find a Titus 2 woman in your life to help guide you.