proverbs31-woman.com

I’m thrilled to be hosting this week’s edition of the Proverbs 31 Blog Carnival and I hope you enjoy reading the posts entered as much as I have. Please do go and visit them all and leave a comment if you feel moved to do so. Bless you!

Please Accept This RSVP As Regret… by Jenny Cereal
Poor Jenny has so much to do!

Riding Lessons by GP
Lessons in life and from God are all around us… even from our horses.

The Christmas Letter by Heather Harris
A thoughtful letter for this time of year.

Our Holiday Traditions by Amy
Looking at holiday rituals.

In Other Words by Susan
Do you have too much to do?

30 Days of Joy by Southern Belle
Great recipes to share.

Christmas Advent Links by Southern Belle
Have fun exploring these!

Can We Change? by Christelle at Beloved Mama
Looking at behaviour in women

There you have it! Some great messages.

And now one from me!

Are you someone working towards being a Proverbs 31 Woman?

The Christmas period puts so much stress on our time and finances – as if we need that extra stress! Remember in verse 15 of this chapter is the mention of ‘servant girls’. The P31 Woman was not alone in her work and neither should you be. Encourage family members (no matter what age) to assist in the home and in the preparations for this coming season to celebrate the birth of our Lord. Doesn’t matter if it’s just setting a table, putting gifts under the tree, hanging baubles on the lower branches or putting stamps on envelopes to post cards. Whatever it is, don’t succumb to the temptation to do it all yourself – it might not quite be done the way you do it, but does that really matter? It’s the love that goes into it that matters and children love to help – especially if they are given praise and hugs afterwards. They’ll grow up wanting to continue to help and make your life at home an easier load to bear.

And think carefully about the money you’re spending – it’s so easy to spend on impulse, particularly at this time of year.  We all get caught up in the excitement of this season but also what has commonly been called ‘consumerism’ as well.  Seek God for wise counsel on what you should be doing and remember to thank Him also.

I hope you enjoyed these carnival entries!

I’ve had some interesting discussions with many people recently in relation to the recent publishing of my new book “Worth More Than Rubies” which grew out of this blog. And I’ve also read several blog posts about the same subject.

So many see the role of a Proverbs 31 Woman as daunting and impossible to reach, and perhaps in some ways it is. But many overlook verse 15 which states, “She gets up whilst it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.”

When there are others involved in assisting with anything at all, the load is lightened. We don’t have ‘servant girls’ these days for the most part, but we do have family members and friends and in a day and age of very busy lives, it is good to pull the family together to share in household chores and activities. It is not harmful for the children to learn at a young age to help around the household or even when you’re out somewhere else. To do simple things like picking up after themselves at home and elsewhere, help carry things to and fro the car or house, and to ask you if you need help when they see you are busy.

If there are no other family members and simply a couple, then sharing the load between the two as much as possible should definitely help. But there are other things you can do that might assist and I share some of them here.

I run a fulltime business at home and whilst the girls were growing up I didn’t have time to do everything around the house. But I was able to engage help and this was something my husband and I discussed and agreed upon. For as long as I can remember I’ve had someone come and pick up the ironing fortnightly and drop it back off again a couple of days later. I have another lady come on the alternate weeks and clean the house. We pick up everything and put things away (the girls had to throw everything on their beds when they were home, so the floors were clear) and the cleaner washes, wipes and vaccums. It is really nice to walk through our home after she’s gone and just smell the freshness and cleanness throughout the house. Once a month I have a man come and mow the lawns and do other odds and ends for us as needed.

Both my husband and I feel that investing the money to pay these three people a worthwhile thing to do – it gives me peace of mind and allows me to concentrate on what I do well without worrying about the house and garden, and it also assists three people to run their own businesses and contribute to their household incomes. In doing that, I am actually helping to provide ‘portions for my helpers’ as well as provide for my family.

Proverbs 31 woman, Proverbs 31:15, help around the home

There are lots of discussions these days about women working at home vs working in a job away from home. I strongly believe that the Proverbs 31 Woman was a Work At Home Mum – by today’s standards. If you look into the past, beyond our grandparents’ time and before the industrial revolution, women worked on the land and in their homes, contributing to the household needs and income, with their children by their side, on their backs, or in tow in some way or another. Children also learnt to help as soon as they were able to – because that was the way of life back then.

Whilst I am not advocating we should be taking advantage of our children and getting them to work at an early age, I am saying that if the mother (or father) is working on the home premises, the children benefit from watching and learning. They see exhibited before them a work ethic, planning, preparation, how the money is used and how it is earnt. Also how skills can be learnt, established and used for the benefit of the family – not just one person.

I’ve been working from home now for over 13 years and our daughters have grown up watching me at work and play. They have all developed skills and abilities because of what we had available in the household to them and they also had the benefit of work experience in their teens without having to leave their home and go to another business, if they chose.

The Rev Brian Abshire touches on this aspect amongst others in his lengthy post about the Proverbs 31 Woman. I never abandoned my career plans – my plan and dream had always been to be home for my family. However I wanted more than that – I wanted to apply myself, use my skills (not put them aside) and continue enjoying my life, and not putting it on hold.

I’ve read about and talked to some women who feel they put their career aside to have a family, some feel that they missed the boat. Other women (on the other side of the equasion) feel they’ve missed the [family] boat by putting their career first. I believe you can have both – if your desire is to have a family and a career.

Not all women are cut out to work at home. Depression and isolation can set in.  And it’s often not easy to keep disciplined and motivated and sometimes it can seem a thankless task if clients (and employees) are not appreciative of your efforts. You have to become your own PR person, marketer, salesperson and so much more but I can truly say, in looking back, that my decision to work at/from home and raise our girls in our home was the best decision I’ve made (outside of accepting Christ as my Saviour and marrying my husband 🙂 ).  And I believe our girls have truly benefitted and are different people to what they might have been had their peers been the main daily influences in their lives, instead of having a parent to come home to every day after school.

If you have skills and abilities (which are God-given, don’t forget) that can be applied in the home to help bring income into the household, then I encourage you to consider this option and start exploring how it can be achieved. You might have noticed mention of the book ‘Worth More Than Rubies: The Value of a Work At Home Mum’ on this blog. The book covers the challenges and the benefits of working at home and even gives a list of different jobs/businesses that can be carried out at home – genuine roles using your existing skills.

Crystal on her post about the Proverbs 31 Woman and entrepreuneurialism raises some interesting points too, about Return on Investment into our families. Like me, she is encouraging women to return home to their families and consider how they can apply their skills in their home for the benefit of their family whilst remaining a shining light to their communities.

My Great Uncle Fred was a lovely man who was very proud of his family, particularly his wife, his daughter, his nieces, his grand nieces and any other relative who was female. He would constantly tell us when we were children that little girls grow up to be mothers and that’s the most important role in the world.

I could tell by the way he talked that he had loved his mother very much and also his dear departed wife. He held them in high esteem and was one of the most wonderful gentlemen I’ve ever known.

As I grew up, got married and had my own family he would always make sure he rang on birthdays to say hello and give us birthday wishes over the phone. And as my own daughters grew up he took delight in getting to know them too – his great, grand nieces. He always had wonderful stories to tell and was a keen gardener as well. I learnt a lot from my great uncle, not the least being how a man should treat his wife.

One day long ago I received a letter from him. He was always interested in my activities – I’ve always been someone doing something and rarely get bored. Anyway, I had to laugh when I read the opening line of the letter. It was addressed to “Dear Mrs Perpetual Motion”.

That was many years ago, the letter has turned yellow now and I’ve kept it as a keepsake of my adorable uncle. I never did get to talk to him about my faith and my belief but if he were alive today I do believe that the Proverbs 31 Woman is one he would have been very interested in and I can’t help thinking that perhaps my great aunt may have been a P31 woman. He was definitely a man very proud of his wife and showed the confidence in her that we read about in verse 11 and he always praised her as in verse 28. It is good to have examples like that in our childhood as it helps shape our values and belief in ourselves.

Twelve years have passed since I received that letter and I’m still in perpetual motion but I do try spending some quiet time regularly so I can read, write, think and just relax. It is important that we’re not ‘on the go’ all the time and should allow time to read God’s Word, to hear Him speak to us and most of all, for us to hear. A time for rest and reflection allows us to get refreshed and regain our strength to continue on with our daily activities as wives, mothers, and business women. These quiet times should not be mistaken for the ‘bread of idleness’. KMT