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My daughter recently had minor surgery and is home convalescing. She’s still able to do things, use the computer, walk around, and drive too, but is on medication which can make her drowsy, so needs to stay indoors when she’s taken the medication and give in to it.

She wanted to go feed her horse and I was worried about her doing that. I could see she was tired and her teary response to me only proved that not all was right with her but she didn’t want to give in to it. I offered to take her there myself and wait with her whilst he ate his food and she took him back out to his paddock but she was worried because it would take an hour out of my day.

Just like my daughter to be worried about the effect on others, not the least of which was her mum. My response to her was that I’d rather spend an hour taking her to where she needed to be, than spend hours at a hospital with her because something happened whilst she was out on the road. She ended up relenting and went to have a sleep. We planned to go later in the day once she had rested.  I made a mental note of what I could do to prepare for that time out and catch up with my work later.

Our children, even when they are adults, need to know that we still have time for them. We can’t live their lives for them and nor should we be in their pockets – they are adults and need to lead their own lives. But they do need to know we are there for them still, to guide, encourage, and sometimes give a push when they need it. Just as in 31:26 the Proverbs 31 Woman speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue, so must we remain vigilant in this way for our sons and daughters as they become adults and continue to lead and guide them so that they can do the same for new generations that rise.

As I grow older, the reality of what my working at home over the past 13 years has done for my family seems to keep hitting me in waves. My husband and I were talking about it in bed the other night. Another incident had happened which helped emphasise how important it was that I am home all the time. Nothing serious but it could have been a major inconvenience for the family member involved had I not been available.

We talked about things that happened when our girls were in their teens and there were some really rocky patches there. The girls have come out of it well but some of them had really difficult periods and there was a time we were fearful that actions might be taken that could completely change the course of several people’s lives. Those people being family members – have you thought how each action or decision you make can have a vast effect on those around you? Family foremost and then friends as well.

Our daughters could have been very different people to who they are now, had they reacted in a different way to various situations and my husband and I both believe that the reason why things progressed as they have is because I was present for the majority of the time. The girls knew I would be home when they came home from school. I could tell as they walked in the door what kind of day they had, just by the way they talked and walked. They knew if they had a problem they could pick up the phone and ask me to come and get them. Or that I would assist them or accompany them at a time that was difficult for them. I didn’t have to ask a boss permission for time off, or to leave early, or to dash out the door suddenly.

Don’t underestimate the value of being a mum at home – a Proverbs 31 woman. The Proverbs 31 woman was both a business woman and a work at home mum and she was present for the most part, for her family. Verses in this book talked about selecting food from afar and purchasing land, however I do feel if she travelled for a time, that there was family at home to continue caring for the young and to keep things on track. Children were not left unattended, even in those years when they feel they no longer need ‘babysitting’. The reality is they are still learning to make their way in our world and they need guidance, even as they enter into their twenties.

Make it your goal to be there as much as you can for your family and if you find that both work and other commitments take you away day and night, perhaps you need to reassess what can be changed and seek our Lord for His guidance in your decision-making.

This blog started out as a personal study, as I’m sure many of you are aware, but along the way many joined this journey and contributed to it. Thank you so much.  I know there are regular visitors here and many subscribed.

Over the past few months I’ve been writing a book that incorporates the information from this blog and more and very soon I’ll be able to give you the details of the book.  What I would like to know from you, the reader, is if there is anything you feel should be added in the book. Are there discussions here that you’d like to see elaborated more?  Are there comments you would like to contribute?  I would love to hear from you.  KMT

Two different messages but both with the same intent got my attention over the past 24 hours. One was from the Proverbs 31 Ministry Devotions post ‘Mom in the Mirror’ which was an excellent message and the other from my perpetual calendar: “Abijam… was as great a sinner as his father was” (1 Kings 15:1, 3 The Living Bible). The reader is prompted to consider this question: “If my children grow up to follow in my footsteps, will I be pleased about where those footsteps lead?”

Very worthwhile question to think about. Our children do watch us and periodically I’ll hear myself in my grown daughters – most of the time I am happy with what I hear and see. There are times though when I hear my mum’s echo when I’m speaking and I pull up suddenly.

My life today is vastly different to the one I grew up in, but sometimes I revert to old patterns of thinking and responses. Whilst I had a happy childhood and knew that I was loved, there were times when we were told things that I haven’t wanted to tell my own children. I know the intent was good – they didn’t want me to get my hopes up about life and things in general and suffer great disappointments in the process, but I’ve encouraged my daughters to dream big and aim high.

What caused the difference between what I was taught and what I teach my children? I committed my life to the Lord Jesus Christ in my teen years and learnt that not everything I’d been taught aligned with the Word of God. Too many Christians today forget they are sons and daughters of a King, a child of God, and He wants the best for us – why shouldn’t we dream big and aim high?

How do your children view you as a mother and guide for their lives? As King Lemuel’s mother instructed her son in the ways of life, so must we encourage and instruct our children and not leave it to anyone else. This includes the way we react to things – children do copy mannerisms, voice tones, and the ‘wrong’ words. And it is most important that they understand their inheritance in life. Life isn’t always fair and we all experience disappointments. But if we allow those disappointments rule our decisions and plans, we will miss out on the things that God has waiting for us. Why not demonstrate that to our children too?