Permission for time out
This year has been very different to the past years of our lives. We’ve gone through tremendous upheaval and change which began almost 12 months ago when we lost our darling Miriam.
If anyone had told us at the beginning of September last year that nearly every member of our immediate family would be moving house this year and that we would be missing a member of our family too, we just would not have believed them.
It’s been a long slow year – one where I’ve been anxious to get back to some sort of normality and yet when opportunities arise, particularly through my business, I am slow to respond or take things up.
I’ve been very reluctant to go out in the evenings so have missed a year’s worth of business networking events and church events. I haven’t wanted to leave Graham alone and I haven’t really felt like being with groups of people. Neither has he for that matter.
The book I was going to write has been put on hold but I am a contributing author for an anthology of poems and short stories about babies and impending motherhood called “Even Before You Were Born“. The poem I wrote back in the 1980s.
I’d been planning a number of things for my business and team this year – at least I was going to plan them, but the year is almost over and I haven’t moved forward with them. I wrote things down and thought about them but they progressed no further.
I did set business and personal goals in January this year, as I do each year, and I have achieved 5 out of 11 things which isn’t too bad (45%) – but I usually achieve 85-90% of my goals.
It recently hit me that I’m entitled to ‘time out’ – time to reflect, time to heal, time to just vegetate if I need and want to.
Why do we (and particularly women I mean) feel guilty if we just take time out?
When we look at the Proverbs 31 woman in Chapter 31 of Proverbs she seems to be constantly on the go, always doing, never letting her lamp go out. But if we look more closely at these verses there are hints that because of her previous hard work, profitable trading, her planning and preparation, she has no fear for her household (v21) and she can laugh at the days to come (v25).
Perhaps I am allowed to take time out after all and not feel guilty about it, simply because of all I have done in the past. I need to allow myself time to renew, refresh, heal, rest, and gain new enthusiasm for life and all it promises in the days to come.
September 8th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Last year I had a major illness that required almost a full year to recover from. In the midst of the worst of it, I was so weary. I’d been continually putting my need for rest aside because I wanted to be well soon. One day as I tried to do a full day of housework I realized that I’d been pushing myself to do a hundred things other than what I was supposed to be concentrating on: getting well. That day I told my family, “I can’t keep doing all these things. I need time to rest and recover (R & R). A soldier does not focus on one hundred details he focuses only on the battle at hand.” I’m convinced that had I listened to my body when I first became ill, had I taken time to recover when I was at my sickest, I would have healed sooner.
In the end, who is going to understand what this year has cost you? Who is going to look at you and count the things you did as good and proper? Take the time to do the inner healing you need to do just now and let the rest go. It’s a wonderful opportunity to hear the Lord speak through your circumstances.
September 24th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
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September 24th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
I have just found your site and want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your honesty and openess. My family and I have had a horrendous few months with the suicide of my husband and childrens father. I thought I was going crazy not even being able to do normal things let alone my uni studies. Now I know it will be ok. God has it in His sights. Thank you so much.
Virginia (Australia)
September 24th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Virginia, I’m so glad you found this site. Our daughter was lost in the same way you’ve lost your husband. I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this horrible way to lose a loved one.
You are not going crazy. No-one should ever have to go through what you and I have been going through, and yet we do. We have no control over what life brings us and the only constant in our life is God. Know that He is watching over you and your family. Bless you.
October 3rd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Dear Kathy,
What a transparent post, one that makes my heart go out to you in both empathy and affirmation. You are allowed… to weep, to take time away, to be with those who you love most and who need you most right now. There is a season for everything under the sun, and how wise of you to have seen that this is not the season for making leaps and bounds in some things, and for digging in and going deeper in others. Bless you as you take this time off… whatever that looks like. You have much to offer the world, but only if you are coming from a place of fullness. Be still and know, be filled, be loved. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Love, you Kelowna friend,
Lesley-Anne
October 17th, 2009 at 1:54 am
Interesting and I agree!