proverbs31-woman.com

I manage a forum for women interested in being Proverbs 31 women and I had shared with them there about the loss of our daughter some months ago.  One of the women had commented she didn’t know how she’d cope with something like that.

My response to her astounded me even – it was like God was speaking to us through my fingers.  I hope what I share below will help you too.

It hasn’t been easy by any means and we’re only 9 months down the track.  Two weeks ago (almost) my cousin lost his son in a car accident.  My cousin is not a Christian and now I feel that it’s my role and responsibility to reach out to him and his wife. I hadn’t seen a lot of them over the past 2 or 3 years so I’ll be making up for it now and keeping in constant touch. The funeral was Tuesday just gone so it’s very early days for them yet.

I find often that our healing takes place when we are helping others, our growth takes place through our own personal hardships. So one needs to follow the other so we have this balance of growth and healing.

Now, I hadn’t even thought about that till I typed it just now.

The Proverbs 31 woman was a wife, mother and business woman. It’s important to remember those three aspects – all knitted into one.

Today women struggle to manage all their various roles and the many hats they wear, daughter, sister, auntie, wife, mother, friend, lover, worker, nurse, house duties and so on. Just where do we become ‘me’?

I believe as we grow older we begin to learn more about ourselves but in our younger adult years while coping with a family and work, and being a good wife we can often feel lost from who we really are.

Don’t despair, others have been there before you and it will become more ordered as your life moves on. Content yourself in God’s word and the instructions of King Lemuel’s mother about the Proverbs 31 Woman.

If your family loves you, if your husband knows you care for the home and provide for your family in ways only you can do, if you love the Lord your God and seek His assurance, then you will eventually see who you are and where you have been. You might even get an inkling of where you are going with your life. I know I have.  And when I was first told about the Proverbs 31 Woman many years ago by a wonderful woman pastor at the church I attended I had no idea what God had in store for me in days ahead.

Now I look towards the Titus 2 woman and can see I’m heading in her direction and I know that many of you will be too. And for those of you who are young, perhaps you’ll find a Titus 2 woman in your life to help guide you.

I hope you’ve seen my Proverbs 31 Woman presentation set to music?  I have it linked on the site here or you can see it at youtube.

I had an interesting comment placed at youtube which basically said the writer felt that the Proverbs 31 verses were not positive but saying that women were servants.

This morning I got up before my husband because I was going out on a photoshoot (my latest passion and favourite hobby) and I set about getting ready, switched on the urn for a cuppa and made myself breakfast. Once the urn heated I asked my husband would he like a coffee and then made it for him and took it into the bedroom for him.  For which he was extremely grateful and he told me so.

Doing things for my husband gives me a warm glow inside and a feeling of contentment, that all is right with the world.  It doesn’t matter what else is going on in our lives if I can do small things for him here and there and know he truly appreciates what I’ve done for him.

This is not a sign of being subservient but rather I am demonstrating love in action.

Verse 12 says: “She brings him good, not harm all the days of her life” and I like to feel that is exactly what I do for my beloved Graham.  It’s not about being a servant or being subservient ( implies the cringing manner of one very conscious of a subordinate position <domestic help was expected to be properly subservient>).

I choose to do things for my husband, loving him for who he is and it doesn’t matter if he shows his appreciation or not for the most part.    My actions are not dependent on his praise, acknowledgement, or reciprocal actions.  It’s about showing him the love I have for him, knowing that in some small way I am making his life better on a daily basis.

If anyone at all feels that a wife doing something for her husband (freely and willingly) is an act of being a servant then I would say that person has never ever experienced true love.

I’m not talking about being besotted with someone and getting in their way and hanging around them and constantly smothering them. That can get really tiresome for the person the attention is focussed on. But I am talking about really loving someone and getting real joy out of doing simple things for them.

My husband told me quite some time ago how much it means to him to come home at night and have an evening meal ready for him. He cycles to and fro work daily so by the time he gets home he is quite hungry and the text books tell him he should be fuelling up after a ride. After Graham told me that I began to take even more care with the type of meals I was preparing and deriving real joy from his genuine comments of appreciation and enjoyment of the meal I’d prepared for us both. Just that simple one statement he’d made about his appreciation for the evening meal meant so much to me and it’s something I’ll remember always. And because of his comment I get even more enjoyment out of preparing the meal for him.

What about you?  Do you know how much your husband enjoys something you do for him? Not all men express their feelings verbally but look for ways he might indicate to you of his pleasure at something you’ve done for him. And if you’re not sure – ask, or perhaps share with him something you really appreciate about him.  It may just open up conversations you haven’t had before.

This was shared on a forum I belong to and I asked permission to bring it here.

Today is my day for the devotional and I want to share something that Celiabeth said to me the other afternoon. Remember, she is our youngest grandchild and has just turned four years old. At the time of our conversation, it did not hit me as to the depth of what she said, but it has since.

I was sitting on the love seat and she squeezed between the seat and the end table. She reached out and patted me on the arm and said, “Nana, how is your kidney ‘fection?” All the time those huge brown eyes are seeking my face looking for the answer she wants to hear, which was, “Oh, Celiabeth, Nana is feeling much better and will be back to normal before too much longer.” As if we were conspiring, she leaned into to me and said, “Nana, I am going to tell you something that you probably don’t know.” She said, “I know you know who Jesus is, don’t you?” I said, “Yes, I certainly do.” She cuts her little eyes up at me and says, “Then you know He will heal you, don’t you?” I said, “Yes, I do know that.” Then, as if she were telling a universal top secret, she said, “Now, Nana, this is what I don’t think you know—–did you know that you don’t have to wait until it is dark to pray?”

They have family prayer and devotions every night before they all go to bed and that is where she got that. She laid her little hands with the chipped fingernail polish on them and prayed the sweetest prayer for me. Tears streamed down my face. She smiled and said, “See, I told you and it is not even dark!”

Now I told you this to say that, yes, those were words from a four year old, but how many times have we waited until it got ‘dark’ to pray? When things got so bad that we couldn’t fix them ourselves and we couldn’t do anything else but ask God to help us. Darkness surrounds us in many ways—family relationships, work problems, church problems, financial problems, marriage problems—–many, many ways of darkness and sometimes we wait until the darkness envelopes us and drags us down before we pray.

So, in the words of a very smart little girl….. “You may not know this, but you don’t have to wait until it gets dark to pray”.

Thank you for allowing me to share a ‘grandchild’ story.

Love, Rhonda